Here is where you can find me.

Shazam is a Wonderful Thing

It leads me back to songs like this that I used to rock out to in 1988.
How could I not have this in my itunes?



Well guess what?
I have it now and I DRIVE REAL SLOW IN MY CAR AND BLAST THE HELL OUT OF IT.

Pure energy.

Richard Simmons Would Not Approve

I work out at the gym in our apartment complex 3-4 times a week. During the past 2 years, I've come in contact with the following people:

-Guy who wears flip flops to the gym, then takes them off and walks around barefoot: Gross.

-Girl who immediately changes the channel without asking to the Food Network (usually some sort of a Barbeque Cookoff): Gross.

-Guy who drops the weights scaring the sh&t out of me and makes sex noises while working out: Gross.

-Girl who watches herself in the mirror despite the fact that I'm in between her and her reflection: Gross.

-Guy who seems to be training for a cross-desert marathon of some sort, works out while wearing a sweatsuit, and likes to see just how much he can sweat all over everything without cleaning it off- Gross.

Thanks guys! I'm grossed out by so many of you. Although I don't know your names, I've immortalized you in this blog post.

In house news, our bathroom currently looks like this.




Oh, and Nicholas Cage is a vampire:

Dear American Apparel,

Regarding these jeans. You can't be serious.

Commence Destruction

TOTAL destruction mode of our new house started this past weekend. Do you want to bond with your spouse and figure out if you really work together well as a team?

REMODEL A FREAKIN HOUSE.

It requires so much patience, endurance, communication, teamwork, positivity, and all sorts of other things to make it work. You're not always at your best, but when it matters most it won't work if you're not in it together. In literal terms, you might be crushed to death by some sort of heavy object.

Saturday:
We began the long process of scraping old paint off the walls in the living room. The previous owners really, really loved textured paint, which leads to bumpy walls coated with ugly, shiny paint. So, long story short, my knuckles are bruised and my arms are noodles, but the paint is almost all gone.

We removed all of the cabinets, hinges, and pulls in the bathroom and kitchen and primed them for painting. We laughed deliriously several times thinking that they must be multiplying while our backs were turned. It was neverending.


Deep cleaned the oven and stove. One word: gross.

Sunday:
God bless my brother-in-law Shane. We rented a mechanical scraper to chip away the ugly white tile in the living room. Basically it rattles you down to your bones as you physically pry the tiles away. Not an easy task. It took several hours and the guys were bosses taking care of business.




Meanwhile I cleaned up all the tile, finished priming the cabinet doors and the bathroom cabinets.

Monday:
Nonstop, neverending, eternal, everlasting paint scraping.

Took down a built in desk that was situated smack dab in the middle of the living room. It was made from original 1958 materials, meaning it was made from the studiest wood and nails you could believe. Gave us faith that our house will be standing until the end of time.

Removal of old paneling and chair rails. Once again, sturdy materials, unbelievable amount of nails.


So there we are. Plan for the week is to begin scraping off the popcorn ceiling in the living room, priming the walls and floorboards, pick out tile for the kitchen backsplash, finalize plans for the pool, and another long list of things I can't think about without turning into Jessie Spano.

This American Life

These are my faults as a writer: I'm a procrastinator, I hate to edit, and I can be extremely wordy. Somehow, I managed to write 3 plays that will be performed this fall and I'm realizing every day that they really aren't that good.* Finding this Ira Glass video did boost my spirits just a little. I adore him...and did you know Phillip Glass is his cousin? Talented family.

In other news, I'm developing an unhealthy dislike for the couple that owned the house before us. They lived there for 10 years and the choices they've made are baffling.
Exhibit A: placing ugly white tile in the living room on top of the original, beautiful, 1950's hard wood floor ruining it beyond any chance of refinishing.

We are having a blast with home renovation though. Anyone that knows my husband can imagine that he makes it fun. Also, the weather has been so beautiful it's a nice time of the year to be doing some manual labor. This week I opened all of the windows while I worked just to hear the wind blowing in the trees. The area where we'll live reminds me of my hometown, lots of rolling hills and gorgeous large trees. Also, down the street is a beautiful church that rings its bells in the evening. Church bells!

I'll post some pics from the house next week to let you see what we're working on.

* I will admit that I am quite proud of a character I created named Mr. Baggins. He's an aging hippy and says things like "I feel you broseph" and "I value your words of wisdom". It's pretty funny hearing a junior high kid say those lines.

Out of hiding...

Setting: The Dallas Zoo, in front of the lizard display

Kid: Where is he? I don't see him.
Me: Right there. On that branch.
Kid: Camouflagin'! (he walks off)

I hadn't heard such a well-timed, one word response in a while. That kid was great. He might as well had dropped a mic as he walked off stage.


In other news, here is what has been going on:

• We are buying a house. I guess we're adults now? (cue Logan & I slowly looking at each other with raised eyebrows)
  


• I'm writing some plays. There is not much to choose from for junior high theatre, so I thought I'd submit some ideas and see what happens. My sweet husband is serving as my editor.
  


• Married life is going great. We high five over random stuff like eating a whole pint of strawberries and talk about one day learning how to sing in harmony while playing instruments. So yeah, we're doing good.
  


• I still like to cook and I think I'm getting better? I'm trying to go without recipes but I'm not quite there yet. This week I did a shrimp pasta from Pioneer Woman that turned out great. Plans for the rest of the week are spinach & chicken quesadillas and turkey chili.
  


• I have an extra room filled with hobby supplies I've been intending on tackling: sewing and painting are the top priorities, so by the new year I will have done something with both.

Oh and this blog is a priority too! I've kept a journal since I was in elementary school, so it's about time I start putting my thoughts down more often. Things to expect in the coming months: recipe ideas, house updates, and any stories worth sharing.

Hope all is well out there with each of you and look for more from me soon.

Not to brag but....

I am a teacher, therefore I have the ability to:

-Silence an entire class of seventh graders with one raise of an eyebrow
-Use peripheral vision to intercept a note without ever looking directly at the guilty parties
-Hear the typing of a cellphone text message from 25 yards away
-Not have my feelings hurt if someone says my class is “boring” (it’s not)
-Catch a cheater
-Not be afraid at the sight of blood, tears, vomit, or all three at once
-Counsel a heartbroken 14 year old whose girlfriend just broke up with him in front of the entire cafeteria. (I told him to use the emotions he was feeling in his acting….it worked)
-Read stories aloud complete with voices inspired by everyone from Morgan Freeman to Joy from “My Name is Earl”

-Not laugh when I hear a really good comeback or "that's what she said" from one student to another (not appropriate)
-Keep a straight face when hearing plotlines for original screen plays with titles like “111 Knives” (a man vows revenge for his parents death who were killed by a knife truck, he then kills people with the 111 knives) and “Death Dance” (a man vows revenge for not getting the lead in “The Nutcracker” and becomes a janitor at the ballet studio to secretly kill everyone involved). Come to think of it…those stories were pretty awesome.

These are hard won skills that have taken me five years to develop. I said I wanted a job where every day was different, and I certainly got one. Constant adventure, continuous entertainment, and great stories to tell. Can’t wait to see what I’m capable of after five more years….

I now pronounce you Mr. & Mrs. Bowles...

Surprise fun facts about getting married:

1. Wedding planning is rarely fun. Honestly, it’s more often annoying than not. I am quite feminine, but I’m far from being “girly”. Squeaky high voices and spending hours picking out little details are just not my thing. There is entirely too much stuff covered in lace or flowers, and too many chirpy sales people who treat it like Dress-Up Barbie’s Dream Wedding. Choosing our cakes, appetizers, and menu was probably the best time we had! Other than that, it’s a lot hemming and hawing (sp?) about stuff neither of us cared that much about. In retrospect we were probably ideal candidates for a destination wedding (meaning,- they take of everything) but having a wedding where everyone could attend meant too much to us. In the end, I do think we made the right choice and everything was simply perfect.

2.The actual wedding and reception are fun. If you’ve stayed true to yourself as a couple like we did, then ideally you’ll have a blast at your own celebration. I’ve had so many tell me “it’ll fly by”, “you’ll just want to drop you’re so exhausted,” “everyone will be competing for your attention.” etc. And I guess all of these were true in a sense, but we really did just have FUN. Among other notable moments; Logan danced like Michael Jackson, Chris breakdanced, Justin did a toe-touch, and Mr. Richard boogied down like no one knew he could…oh, what a night.

3. The honeymoon is absolutely surreal.It’s the first time brides are called by their “new” name, and people readily refer to you as husband & wife, Mr. & Mrs. And wow, it’s a great feeling. We grinned goofily at each other every time it happened. Other than that it’s luxury everywhere you turn….8 days was just enough time to get used to being treated like royalty and then….

4. Returning from the honeymoon is a harsh reality check.Unless you cohabitate before the marriage, you’ll likely have to move immediately when you get back like we did. Specifically at 8 a.m. the following morning. We manage to FILL a 24 ft. moving truck with all of our stuff. This was after donating almost half of everything that I own. No more waiters bringing frosty drinks to us on the beach, oh no….we were in hard physical labor for an entire 12 hour day. It was tough, but Team Bowles got it done. After the move it took us days to sort through things and put everything in its place, leading us to claim we’d be buried in the courtyard outside the apartment because we’d never, ever move again.

5. After the wedding, honeymoon, and move…reality sets in. Make no mistake, even if you KNOW you are with the right person, it is a huge realization to comprehend to that you are now married! You are with each other all the time, your things are now all mixed in together, you share everything, and make decisions on nearly everything together. I wake up every morning so unbelievably grateful that I picked the right person to share all of that with. I am excited to go home every day! Cheesy, yet true.

6. It’s amazing how fast you start doing those “couple things” you hear people talking about. I have officially started that obnoxious habit of referring to us as “we”. “Oh, we loved that movie!” “Oh, we’ve been wanting to go there!” Annoying. Also, our weekends have been transformed. Since we got married we’ve spent one Saturday night at Best Buy picking out a Blu Ray player, and another hanging draperies and baking bread.

7. You very quickly learn the fine art of compromise. We have certain quirks and interests that we’ve both got to learn to live with. Some of the interests we’ve adopted (and adapted to) from each other. Him: punk rock music, football 24/7, Star Wars, extreme fitness Me: talking in my sleep, amateur (not always successful) cooking, “game nights”, Bravo reality shows.

When all is said and done, being married really is fun. I know we’re only a few weeks into it, so I can’t even imagine what else this partnership will bring. My life is forever changed and I love the man I married! I hope to remain this obnoxiously happy forever.

I’m back in the blogging game. Expect more from me soon.

More adventures poolside...

Logan and I met at the pool a few years back. At the time, we both lived at The Courts at Preston Oaks in North Dallas. One day while taking a swim, we struck up a conversation and have been together ever since.

We have many common interests, one of them being a true and abiding love for hanging out at the pool and reading. Part of it is sentimentality for the early days of our relationship, another part of it is that we both just really like to relax and lounge about.

That bit of info brings us forward to Sunday afternoon. L and I were reading at the pool on a beautiful sunshine-filled day. (him- "Fargo Rock City", me- "Angela's Ashes") We were joined by two other couples, also doing the same thing. It was practically silent as we all floated around or lounged on chairs, enjoying a peaceful Sunday afternoon. Then along came this guy....*

*He had tattoos and was wearing a hat, but honestly the resemblance ends there. This was just the only picture I could find to illustrate the idea. Just imagine this guy a lot scarier, dirtier, and more murderous/insane.

Soooooo, Psycho Killer comes out to the pool with an extension cord and stereo system. Proceeds to calmly plug it in, lie down on a lounge chair, and start playing death metal/stoner rap. Loudly. All of the sane people in the pool started to slowly peer over their books and magazines to see, just who was this obviously rude person? Why is he disturbing our peaceful afternoon in such an annoyingly agressive way? Well, PK is simply lying on his chair, staring back at all of us, straight- faced, basically challenging anyone to say anything. We started whispering with the couple next to us to determine the answer to one of two questions: Are we on some sort of hidden camera show where they are testing our limits and we're currently looking like wimps? However, don't you see the homicidal glint in his eyes that might make us regret saying something if we're wrong?

After about four songs of ear-bleeding obnoxious music...I do believe I heard Korn in there somewhere....the girl next to us came over saying "Guys, I'd leave now rather than later. Apparently this guy is wanted by the police and they are currently on their way to arrest him." She'd gone to the office to complain and had been warned about what was about to go down. Fearing a shoot out was close to occuring, or at the very least a knife fight, we gathered up our things and made our way calmly and quickly to my apartment.

We had dinner plans that night so decided to go ahead and get ready, then casually stroll by the pool later to see if anything had developed. When we left to head out to the restaurant Logan said, "Oh, I still hear his terrible music playing, so nothing happened I guess." Still, we just had to check it out, mainly just to see what PK was up to since we'd left.

And there he was! PK himself, being arrested right at that moment by the side of the pool. His stereo was still plugged in and playing that horrible music as the soundtrack to his arrest. He didn't seem that bothered by it, and was just standing calmly as they fastened the handcuffs. The most wonderful juxtaposition about the whole situation was that he was escorted away by 4 Dallas police officers wearing stylish navy blue shorts.

Exciting to witness something like that for sure, I just hope he doesn't recognize us when he comes back on his killing spree of revenge.